I have a thing for conversations.
Why do some go smooth without any effort and others, with all the effort in the world, never seem to get anywhere.
A conversation takes two people. That is part of the problem and all of the magic. But it takes a lot more.
Of course shared interests can help, curiosity is a must and respect a prerequisite. But even then it is not a guarantee.
When going beyond the chit chat, small talk and entering real discussions we all tend to do the same:
We listen with the intention te reply.
We have our opinions ready on global issues, the meaning of the threat of terrorism. Why GMO’s are the only solution in feeding the world or why they are absolutely not. What the world will look like without banks. Or why the world will always be led by them.
However intelligent our conclusions, and in depth our reading, it is never too late te learn. To learn to look at things with a different viewpoint including other horizons and considerations.
The thing is, meaningful conversations become connections. And connections are at the basis of the meaning of our existence. I came across this speech of Dean James Ryan at the Harvard University and felt an immediate recognition of the essence of real connection:
-Asking TRULY essential questions-
Turns out they aren’t very complicated or philosophical.
Anyone can ask them and, really, everyone should.
If you have a remote interest in success and happiness that is.
And I’m guessing that may be the case.
Funny thing is asking them makes you as happy as being asked. Showing true interest in the answer shows true interest in your conversational partner. As per James Ryan: "I would urge you to resist the temptation to have answers at the ready and to spend more time thinking about the right questions to ask”.
Watch his part on 5 Essential Questions HERE on YouTube (6 mins), you really don't want to miss it, trust me. The questions have been worked out by Garr Reynolds and can be read HERE .
So just to sum them up:
At the core of Joyful living and creativity is curiosity. More on that in my next blog...
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Inspired by everything that matters and convinced that creative living is on top of the list.
Created & updated by Marina de Boer 2018